Letter of Love to my Children

On the eve of my 51st birthday and awaiting the arrival into this world of our son and second child, it’s a great time to reflect and post once more on this blog before we are officially a family of four.

Whenever you come across these words over the course of your life, I hope you already know and trust that you are Mommy’s and my deepest loves and biggest joy. When your Mommy and I met almost 20 years ago now, I never imagined ever being a parent. But despite how I saw myself earlier in my life or how others viewed us as a same sex couple, it was abundantly clear we both wanted to be parents. And WE are so lucky that we are the parents that raise you! Anyone that tells our family how lucky the two of you are can’t see beyond how your lives started. But we know the selfless love and intention of the women that made the four of us a family. Other parts of this blog describe your Mommy’s and my journey to parenthood, but only you will know and decide whether or not to share your personal journeys. You are my life’s most important work. You’ll never know your Baba was a hard working professional of 20 years, but it’s OK because being your Baba is the most important title I will ever have!

These last three years (2020-2023) will generate stories from your Mom and I that you will either find interesting or just want us to shut up about already, LOL. But Darby, shortly after your 1st birthday the COVID pandemic literally shut the world down. Your Mom and I made a pact that we would do what it took to come out the other side of it. We had no way to imagine that it would last over two years. But, we choicefully made more sacrifices than many households as we did not want your life story to be impacted. The toy explosion at home that you’ll see in photos show just how much we were truly at home! And we were lucky enough that the two companies your Mom worked for during those years allowed her to work from home. And so hopefully YOU have positive memories of this time because we were always together. In fact, Darby, getting ready to go meet and bring home your brother will create the longest time we’ve been away from you. 

And Daxton, COVID had an impact on our path to you, too, as so many businesses around the country and world were negatively impacted, including adoption agencies. About a year into the pandemic, we became aware that we needed to find a new agency as the one we adored had to close its doors permanently. Three years of choosing to stay fairly close to home and two more agencies later, we are over the moon to have found you! We can’t wait to hold you close. And your big sister already has many toys and many plans for things you will do as soon as you get here. Take your time. Get big. We are ready to be there with you as soon as you are ready!

Side note: As you look at photos and notice how Mommy and I seemed to age a lot from 2020-2023, it’s called the COVID pandemic! – HA!! You will probably read about it in your 6th grade social studies books. 

In all seriousness though, Darby and Daxton, know that your sibling is probably the longest life relationship you will ever have. Rivalries and feelings and jealousies can easily come up in life. Please don’t give those things energy or time – both energy and time are too precious to spare! Your Mommy and I intend on helping you both discover your unique “super powers” in life for yourselves. Those super powers will either overlap or complement each other – but either way you are better together! Embrace and help each other share the joys and carry the load in harder times. That is the family that you come from.

Having just buried my last parent and your Grandpa (Paul) a few weeks ago, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what is important and what just doesn’t matter. Only the love is real. And family is love. And love is forever.

Speaking of your Grandpa, he loved you both. Darby, you probably won’t remember that much because of your age, but you loved to “play” on the phone with your Grandpa (as he lived far away). You made him so happy during days when his illness had him feeling down. And the last time you “played” with him on Dec 16th, 2022 on the phone (9 days before he fell) you built him the tallest tower. You were so proud and he asked me to send him a photo as he was proud of you, too. I’m grateful for you that we have that photo now. And Daxton, even though Grandpa died before you were born, he loved you too. Grandpa grew up as one of four boys. And then he had two daughters, Aunt Liz and me. And then he had 5 amazing granddaughters, your sister and cousins. And the day I told him he was going to be a Grandpa to a grandson was a convo I won’t ever forget. Even after Grandpa became an angel in heaven, it was clear that he told many, many people about you. He was already so proud of you. And I’d like to think that he is already there with you now watching over you now even before I get to meet you.

As for the rest of your village of family and friends that will support our household and you – we hope to have many, many years of moments, memories, adventures, holidays, meals, love and more that will play on our digital photo frame in the heart of our home for years to come. 

From the depths of my heart, I love you both so very much. I believe in you – all of you. And I am so proud of the people you already are, will be, and impact you will have in this world over the course of your lives.

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